I've decided that I will no longer be posting images of my daughter (because they have been used online by other sources without my permission).
It has been a huge wake up call for me, but perhaps one that I needed.
I completely understand the social media world, once an image has been uploaded it's out there forever.
My reasons for posting images of my daughter and I were for purely selfish reasons - I am a proud mum.
But, I realise now that my daughter isn't able to say 'no' - she doesn't have a choice in the matter, and therefore it is unfair of me to assume that she would be OK with her image being seen online. By the time she is old enough to understand the world of social media, I would have already created an online history for her, without her permission.
After making this decision, I was looking through photos and I realised that I actually don't have any photos of myself without her in them.
Before becoming a mum, I had very strong views and opinions about not losing my identity, and making sure I certainly never spammed people with pictures of my baby
(God, how boring are those mums! 😉)
Fast forward to the day Ayla was born, and all of that went out the window! I had to upgrade my phone so that I could store more photos!
When it comes to my identity, I have to be honest, I struggle with this from time to time... Some days I just want my old life back, when I didn't have to think of anyone else but me.
When I could sleep, shower and drink coffee uninterrupted.
I question whether I've lost my identity?
But then yesterday, while scrolling through the thousands of photos to try and find some just of me... I realised (and accepted) my identity hasn't been lost, it's just changed.
I'm still the same person, but I'm now a mum, and often being a mum trumps everything else.
Ayla is part of my identity and I'm glad she is in all of my photos.
Adjusting to motherhood is without a doubt very challenging, but every day we learn. It's something only a mother can understand.
We lose our personal space, we lose our sleep, we share everything! EVERYTHING!
And some days we cry, but most days we laugh.
Funnily enough I also realised that for every photo I've posted of Ayla where she is looking at the camera, there are hundreds more where she isn't, so continuing to share our journey without showing her face won't be hard at all!